OKAY, SO THIS IS A 95 GALLON (68”X61”) 2 MIL THICK TRASH BAG LAID OUT ON A TWIN BED:

THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN THERE’S A 5’10, 290 LB MAN STANDING INSIDE:

OKAY, SO THAT’S THE PRELIMINARIES.  WHAT I WAS TESTING TODAY WAS THE BAG’S SUITABILITY FOR VACUUM SEALING.  I DESTROYED 2 BAGS TRYING TO GET THE PROCESS DOWN, AND I FIGURED IT OUT ON THE 3RD TRY WITH THE 2ND BAG.  THIS WAS THE KEY:

THAT’S A HEAD FOR A VACUUM CLEANER.  THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS WAS IN IT’S ABILITY TO DIFFUSE THE VACUUM INSIDE THE BAG.  WHEN I’D TRIED TO GO ABOUT THIS WITHOUT THE HEAD, THE MATERIAL OF THE BAG WOULD JUST GET SUCKED RIGHT INTO THE WAND, CLOGGING IT UP. 

NOW THE OTHER IMPORTANT THING WAS THAT I DIDN’T USE THE BAG’S OPENING (WHICH IS GARGANTUAN) AS THE INSERTION POINT FOR THE VACUUM.  I SEALED THE OPENING TIGHT WITH DUCT TAPE…:

…AND THEN I CUT A HOLE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG AND INSERTED THE WAND THROUGH THE OPENING:

I SEALED THAT HOLE WITH MORE DUCT TAPE, AND WITH THE BAG COMPLETELY AIRTIGHT, I TURNED THE CLEANER ON, SUCKING THE AIR OUT OF THE BAG, LEAVING ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL VACUUM PACKED ACOUSTIC GUITAR CASE:

NOT A BAD WAY TO SPEND MY WEDNESDAY MORNING.